You can sleep when you're dead...until then I guess there's caffeine.

Hola, friends and blog readers!  I really should not be writing a blog, I should be studying, but I wanted to update everyone on how things are going.

This Monday I started back to medical school....let me tell you if we thought second year was going to be easier than first year, we were lying to ourselves!  I have been studying NON-STOP since Monday!

So, yea...life has definitely gotten a little more chaotic this week. So far, I have managed to keep up, but I am DOG tired and don't know how long I will be able to keep up this pace, but I will try my best to continue to keep up.  I feel that my grades are so much better if I'm able to follow along on the material and not play catch-up on the weekends. 

Things I'm happy about:
1.  I'm blessed to be furthering my education in a society where the economy is not great at the moment and so many are out of work or searching for better work.  I'm praying for those of whom the opposite is true, btw.
2.  I'm 9 months away from finishing 2nd year, taking boards (Lord, help), and returning home to my family, my fantabulous boyfriend, my friends, and my much needed supports, Central and Sandlin Road (who could ask for better church families?)
3.  I'm another year closer to being an M.D. 
4.  I'm learning a lot and getting a lot of good experiences.
5.  I'm working out every day (except Sunday) and believe me it is a HUGE stress reliever.
6.  I'm blessed far beyond the extent that I deserve.
7.  My loved ones show me support every single day of the week...I don't know what I would do without it.  It's what's important in life...I know this.

Things I'm a little perturbed about:
1.  I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn every day in order to fit in study/workouts into my schedule
2.  I CRAWL into bed somewhere around 11 every night when the summer has had me used to at least 8 hours of snooze time.
3.  I don't have any "Me-Time" which I've come to appreciate very much over the summer. It's amazing how much we take the little things like being able to watch T.V., go for a walk, go out to dinner, go shopping for granted.  But maybe there will be just a smidge of me-time this weekend...even if it's just a few extra hours of sleep
4.  Chaos...I've learned that I have a love/hate relationship with chaos....it drives me crazy but I thrive on it at times.
5.  I constantly fight off the urge to not be overwhelmed!
6.  We have a test every single week of the module!!!

But you know what, I just have to put on my big girl panties and do this!  Just like I did it last year (not always with a great attitude, but I did it), just like I did the year before that and the year before that.

Now...as for the business of losing weight, aka, Weight Watchers update:
I lost 5.8 lbs this week!  I'm more than half-way to my 5% goal after 2 full weeks of dieting.  I guess that people were right, my body just needed to be given some time.  The female body is so hoakey anyway...hormones....ugh. 
Anyway, I'm starting to become really excited, and I hope I can see more pounds shedding off in the future weeks. 
My weigh ins are on Tuesday nights so I pretty much don't eat very much all day so that my weigh-in won't reflect what I have eaten that day.  So...I treat myself to something I want Tuesday nights.  I try not to go over my points for the day, but sometimes I tap into my weekly allowance. 
Working out is really helping me in so many ways...especially with my stress levels, which consequently could prevent me from losing weight. 

Ok, well I guess that's all folks.  I'm going to do what I should be doing now....do I really have to tell you what? ;) Peace.

I'm told I should ask for wisdom...

If you read Proverbs in the Bible, there is a lot of talk about wisdom...what you should to do to gain it...why you should seek it...why you should ask for it.  Well.  I believe that now is one of those times.  

There are a few difficult situations in my life right now and the lives of some people that I'm closest to that I can't quite seem to get a good grasp of.

I'm finding myself wishing either life was easier or that I would have the wisdom to know what to do...what to say. 

When I try to change these situations...or when I try to help...it seems like things get worse.  Maybe I should just let things be for now...even though they can't stay the same forever.  None of this really makes any sense unless you're me...but thanks for reading this, nonetheless. 


Anywho...on a different note and a somewhat dreary one...I had my first weigh in today...I only lost 0.4 lbs.  This is disappointing...especially since the last time I did weight watchers I lost 5.8 lbs the first week.  I'm not really sure if or what I did wrong, but this week I am adding in workouts to my new healthy endeavor and hopefully it will help.  


So....if you're reading this...I could use some prayers...while my issues really aren't that dire or serious...I'm feeling so unsure of so many things right now so prayers would be appreciated. 

 

Starting over...

So, I believe that last time I wrote, I had said that I was going to begin Weight Watchers in late June.  Well things haven't exactly worked out like that.  I didn't join in late June due to the financial situation not really being in order like I would have hoped; however:

I Joined Yesterday!!! Yay, go me! 

  I have very mixed feelings but mostly I feel relief that I am finally doing it.  Still
,
It feels as though I'm staring down the barrel of a very long gun.

It's hard not to look at the bigger picture...at the 80-90 pounds I could stand to lose  (although I would be OK with 70).  It seems like it might take 20 years after forever to do this.  But,  I think I will choose to look at this differently...set smaller goals.  For instance, in weight watchers, the first goal is 5% of your weight loss.  Which, for me is 10 lbs.  Then, you have a 10% goal,   which for me is 21 lbs.  Those two seem pretty manageable.  It's when I start thinking about the lifetime goal that I feel a little threatened.  So I won't...I'll take things 10 pounds at a time.  But,

I can't wait to start seeing a difference!  

 I was looking at some old pictures from my early years of high school.  I thought I was so fat!  I wasn't!  I wasn't as thin as many of the other girls but I had a really nice figure.  It's funny how now I wish I was that size again.  
In my adult life, I have never been thin.  I have never been at a healthy weight, and I am really looking forward to having this "burden" so-to-speak off my shoulders.  So, here we go...ready or not...

Here is my before picture: