Breaking the Heart of God

I am a fortunate person in many ways... the least of such ways is that I am lucky enough to be a part of 2...no make that 3... church families. This past Sunday, I attended church at the place where I grew up- my home church, Sandlin Road Church of Christ.  It is a precious place with precious people whom I know will always love me no matter what.  Wonderful...

This week we had a guest speaker and he talked about the book of Hosea. Unfortunately, I haven't studied much of the "minor prophets" as they are called.  But, I found his talk on this book to be fascinating and quite sobering.  Hosea tells the story about-you guessed it- a man named Hosea and his love for a woman named Gomer. Like the children of Israel turned away from God in the old testament, so did Gomer turn from Hosea.  The speaker talked about how God's love for His people are paralleled in this book to Hosea's love for Gomer. Hosea's love for Gomer was an unrequited one, for she never understood his love and ran from his love.  Do I understand God's love?  No.  Do I run from God's love?  Probably, yes. 

The way it was explained is that throughout this time there has been this war with God between righteousness and love. God spent his time chasing after a people who did not love him in return.

He's still chasing us. And guess what, I think most of us come very short of returning that love...I know I do. 

Then the LORD said, "Call him Lo-Ammi, ^[c] for you are not my people, and I am not your God.-Hosea 1:8.


The above verse speaks of the birth of Hosea's and Gomer's son.  God's anger toward the people he created in many places in the bible, and Hosea is no exception.  But, in this very same book:
I will betroth you to me forever;
       I will betroth you in ^[d] righteousness and justice,
       in ^[e] love and compassion.

 ²⁰ I will betroth you in faithfulness,
       and you will acknowledge the LORD.-Hosea 2:19-20

It seems like God cannot make up His mind in this book.  He wants to destroy them...he doesn't want to destroy them?  What gives?...LOVE GIVES.

You see, this was the whole point of our speaker's lesson on Sunday.  With God, love has always been our saving grace.  And, by reading this book it should be apparent that God wasn't angry at people for breaking the law.  He was angry at them for breaking His heart.  

  

This talk...well, it hit home.  It took me back to all too familiar places.  Places with hurt so deep I chose a long time ago to just try and put it behind me.  A place where feelings were not returned...where acts of love went unnoticed.  Where trust and promises were broken.   Oh, how it hurt.  I felt Betrayed. Broken.  Mis-Understood. Under-estimated. 

Is this what God feels?  It makes me shiver to think that I could make my precious Lord hurt over me....a pathetic excuse for a person at times. My heart breaks at this thought.  It should.  I deserve it.  The sin that I take too lightly too many times is an arrow that pierces the heart of God.  And he feels maybe just like I felt when I was betrayed by someone I once loved.  The difference...HE STILL LOVES ME. 

 How?  I don't understand.  I don't understand because Sunday I realized maybe more than I ever have before that I keep running from God and he keeps chasing me.  I turn to Him and then everything is okay again and then I go back to doing what I did before.  And it continues.  Sin continues. But I am still loved. Lord, thank you for your Grace!  Grace that has a name, Jesus Christ!  I shudder to think about where I would be without it.