Saturday, August 14, 2010

The music in my heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6AGYjG7rYU

My God is more precious than rubies, more than the finest foods and wines.
He holds onto me when no one else will or can.
He is my safety net when I'm falling.

I need you, Lord.
I know you are with me,
Show me how to feel you near.
You are precious to me, and like a deer who searches for a stream,
I'm searching for you.


Lord, my heart has been broken...
Is it your will? 
I will gladly take this path if it's what you want.


Oh, precious Love,  if only you were tangible.  If only I could feel you near.
Guess I'll have to wait til it's time to enter the gates of your kingdom.
Til then, I will be here...Here am I, send me.  
Send me to do your will.
Make me a new creature. 
Make me better every day
It doesn't matter how it's done, if it's done.
Because I would rather be broken than lost
Because I would rather hurt than hurt others


Show me....I'm waiting for your call.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

You can sleep when you're dead...until then I guess there's caffeine.

Hola, friends and blog readers!  I really should not be writing a blog, I should be studying, but I wanted to update everyone on how things are going.

This Monday I started back to medical school....let me tell you if we thought second year was going to be easier than first year, we were lying to ourselves!  I have been studying NON-STOP since Monday!


So, yea...life has definitely gotten a little more chaotic this week. So far, I have managed to keep up, but I am DOG tired and don't know how long I will be able to keep up this pace, but I will try my best to continue to keep up.  I feel that my grades are so much better if I'm able to follow along on the material and not play catch-up on the weekends. 

Things I'm happy about:
1.  I'm blessed to be furthering my education in a society where the economy is not great at the moment and so many are out of work or searching for better work.  I'm praying for those of whom the opposite is true, btw.
2.  I'm 9 months away from finishing 2nd year, taking boards (Lord, help), and returning home to my family, my fantabulous boyfriend, my friends, and my much needed supports, Central and Sandlin Road (who could ask for better church families?)
3.  I'm another year closer to being an M.D. 
4.  I'm learning a lot and getting a lot of good experiences.
5.  I'm working out every day (except Sunday) and believe me it is a HUGE stress reliever.
6.  I'm blessed far beyond the extent that I deserve.
7.  My loved ones show me support every single day of the week...I don't know what I would do without it.  It's what's important in life...I know this.

Things I'm a little perturbed about:
1.  I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn every day in order to fit in study/workouts into my schedule
2.  I CRAWL into bed somewhere around 11 every night when the summer has had me used to at least 8 hours of snooze time.
3.  I don't have any "Me-Time" which I've come to appreciate very much over the summer. It's amazing how much we take the little things like being able to watch T.V., go for a walk, go out to dinner, go shopping for granted.  But maybe there will be just a smidge of me-time this weekend...even if it's just a few extra hours of sleep
4.  Chaos...I've learned that I have a love/hate relationship with chaos....it drives me crazy but I thrive on it at times.
5.  I constantly fight off the urge to not be overwhelmed!
6.  We have a test every single week of the module!!!

But you know what, I just have to put on my big girl panties and do this!  Just like I did it last year (not always with a great attitude, but I did it), just like I did the year before that and the year before that.

Now...as for the business of losing weight, aka, Weight Watchers update:
I lost 5.8 lbs this week!  I'm more than half-way to my 5% goal after 2 full weeks of dieting.  I guess that people were right, my body just needed to be given some time.  The female body is so hoakey anyway...hormones....ugh. 
Anyway, I'm starting to become really excited, and I hope I can see more pounds shedding off in the future weeks. 
My weigh ins are on Tuesday nights so I pretty much don't eat very much all day so that my weigh-in won't reflect what I have eaten that day.  So...I treat myself to something I want Tuesday nights.  I try not to go over my points for the day, but sometimes I tap into my weekly allowance. 
Working out is really helping me in so many ways...especially with my stress levels, which consequently could prevent me from losing weight. 

Ok, well I guess that's all folks.  I'm going to do what I should be doing now....do I really have to tell you what? ;) Peace.